Replacing Unhealthy Habits: New commitment

Through this experiment I have learned to not judge myself so harshly. I have learned that being sober and quiet is good for my mind and my well being. I have had moments of clarity when I can think back to when I started drinking so much and the reason why it became so prevalent in my life. I have learned that drinking was masking feelings, the past and daily obstacles; I drank because I wanted to be numb of it all. Through my pranayama practice I now inhale light and peace and exhale black smoke that consists of the rubbish elements that I need to get rid of in order to cleanse.
Although I feel my tapas experiment was a fail, I am human and I am learning. It is hard giving up all the things that I am used to but it is the change that I want to see in myself. I will make room for my morning practice and stay consistent with my nightly practice. I will keep trying to be a better person, a better yogi and strive to love and help those around me with compassion and understanding.